Tuesday, February 02, 2016
I need a hug.. a long tight hug..
To get rid of all these emotions from me..
Got too emotional over work..
It's not like me. :(
I don't know why I got so stressed up all the sudden.
The other day I woke up and cried so bad.
I was dreaming.. of this person that died..
And at his funeral, his friends were all gathering on a stage..
Talking about all the good things and great stuff they did together..
At that point my mind was thinking..
"You just lost a great friend and you are having so much fun here.. is that even right..?"
I went up the stage and turned over to face them..
They all had tears in their eyes..
Crying and laughing at the same time..
It was so heartwenching I woke up crying..
And lost control..
What the hell....
Then next day I lost control over my emotions over work.
And then the following day..
I dreamt again..
Today.. I didn't sleep well..
I woke up a few times in the middle of the night..
I didn't think much..
The last I remembered was a very tight and comforting hug..
And it made me feel a lil better..
Until I woke up to know I'm still there alone..
With hugs from my imagination.
Just how sad am I?
I just feel that I need someone..
Who can understand me even when I can't..
I feel so down.
I wished someone would find out and console me.
I'm so fucking useless when I'm like that.
Get stronger.
You need to be firmer.
You still got a long way to go.
Get stronger.
Don't ever show that side of you.
Ever again.
Keep the weak to yourself.
I'm sick of myself.
Argh.
I need a real, understanding, comforting hug.
Before my time bomb ticks away.
And lose all control of myself.
- I tried staying strong, I really tried -
Innocence
7:25 PM
