Tuesday, November 03, 2015
i can't really believe i had the guts to go ahead with the tooth extraction..
but yea, solving the problem is better than waiting for a small problem become a bigger problem..
i went to the dentist on monday..
it's wednesday. and you haven't seen me.
even my colleagues cared more.
is it not good to even have some basic expectation?
it's kind of disappointing that i have to keep fighting my own war.
if you are only there when you need me..
if you are only here when times are good..
i killed all my expectations. and it just gets worse.
maybe you just don't understand me enough..
if you are backing out when i don't do anything.
well, there are reasons why i became so silent about myself.
cause saying them all out doesn't change anything.
i get the attention but i don't get the support..
so why.. why am i working so hard again?
for myself. i guess.
if only i could make decisions more abrupt like i did.
it's in me to be afraid..
afraid and worry about a lot of stuff.
afraid of taking risk and losing what i have.
maybe. times will change?
if i had to beg for everything..
subtle things actually mean a lot to me.
sometimes i see them.
sometimes i can't seem to find them at all.
it's a bet.
i'm going to just close my eyes and move forward.
i'm too tired to be fighting for myself.
~i'll try, and try, hold on and never let go~
Innocence
11:31 PM
