Saturday, October 26, 2013
Hey, i'm back from my ah gong's funeral...
personally i dont feel alot, he is really not THAT close to me..
but it hurts so bad to see my ah ma crying hard for him..
the grief makes me sad...
such a big family went back to pay filial piety to my ah gong...
imagine, almost a coach bus full of relatives..
3 tier family..
second time i went to a funeral as a direct relative.
the last time i went i couldnt remember anything..
except someone poke my arm with the joss stick and i got burned.
this time round..
i learnt alot, like there were so many rituals to go through..
customs... rituals... prayers...
seems like sons-in-law are really important in the rituals...
cant stand on the ledge between doors,
cant cross your legs,
cant wear jewellery..
cant watch when they are moving the coffin.. etc etc..
my ah gong had a proper burial on the mountain..
i believe he will do better elsewhere than on earth and suffering..
Rest in peace ah gong..
somewhere in between, i stopped to think..
what will happen during my own funeral?
will i have a big family too?
will my parents still be around?
how many people will attend my funeral?
who will be the people taking the extra effort to drop by and say goodbye?
or will people really care?
oh well.. its juz me n me being sad all by myself..
not like its gonna last very long also..
but i am not ready for this to happen again soon..
i'm not ready to lose anyone..
i'm not ready to grief...
i'm not ready to gain anyone if i know i'm gonna lose them..
someday i will grow up, i chose to believe this way..
just that, this day is not soon.
i'm so tired...
-------
on a side note...
i've got a taiwan holiday to plan..
YAY.
Innocence
8:55 PM
