Sunday, January 06, 2008
haix..
tink i very ben..
all this while..
hmmm..
i've been thinking the whole day..
i realised i've always been looking out..
looking for wadever dat reminds me of u..
and make myself emo..
whether places or items.. dunno la..
i still cant juz move on liddat..
my life is unfulfilling without a job..
makes me keep thinking..
i cant tell whether am i trying to make myself..
reminded dat two isn't always perfect..
or remind myself nvr forget the happiness within..
den after i tink bout how bright i've been so far..
hmm.. yes.. VERY..
esp today after vk outing..
i'm like.. i reali bright enuff le..
still lidat.. wad to do.. i turn away loh..
every little thing reminds me of u..
i cant get u off my mind..
sometimes i wanna run..
but i dunno where to.. who to..
i noe nobody sees me as a sad person..
but i very hard to always keep the smile..
i have frenx, i have God..
yet.. y do i still feel lonely..
y do i still feel unloved..
i wanna move on..
but every step i take forward..
i move two steps back..
no one's gonna wait..
yet..
tink all this while its juz me..
being cruel to myself..
flashing pictures of US..
all the past coming back..
hoping everything didn't change..
wishing time would stay the same..
freeze in the moment..
so dat i could be with u all my life..
no one thinks bout it..
no one cares bout the future life..
no one reali noe wad will happen..
mayb its the same..
you n him..
u always said u weren't ready..
yet, u could treat him like u were..
someone nice appeared in ur life..
not the same for me i guess..
i'm feeling nothing...
i cant sleep at night..
i always think..
hope dat one day i might be with u..
but its always smashed the moment i awake..
u said it..
u told me..
u weren't ready..
i waited..
all these while..
for u to answer..
but u nvr did..
guess i reali cant let go..
i wanna lean on u..
i wan ur comfort..
i wan ur warmth..
but i wun wana let u noe..
cux we promised..
to be wad we were..
so i cant let u noe..
if not i'll break our promise..
i might be left with nothing..
it's all too late..
too late..
been a long time..
seen i last saw u..
kinda miss u..
yet.. i beta not..
i will keep it all inside..
so no one get hurts..
nothing changes our frenship...
u said once when i asked..
"how long do u tink we'll be frenx?"
u said.. "if we keep in contact, it'll be a long long longX5 time"
i wanted to ask u den..
but i din have the courage..
mayb..
mayb if i were a lil more straight..
mayb we would have been together..
mayb life would have changed..
mayb i wouldn't have to be hurt again..
mayb we would go on forever..
haha. wad a dream.
OR
mayb i would be hurt a few more times..
mayb i'll be left alone..
life is hard, i wouldn't noe..
MAYBE.
we could be destined to be together.
hahahahahahahaha..
rubbish..
it's beta not to tink so many maybs..
it beta to believe is cash den in dreams..
when will i stop thinking..
when......
~juz a little emo~
Innocence
10:58 PM
