Thursday, October 18, 2007
masking ur real self..
hiding every one of ur personality..
trying to protect our own privacy..
avoiding reality like some disease..
i dunno.. but it kinda became a trend..
now rite..
the more ppl noe bout me..
the more i try to pretend to be someone else..
i'm losing my identity..
i dunno when in the 24hrs everyday..
have i taken off my mask?
i can no longer express my true self i guess..
its no longer myself..
i feel like i exist to be part of other ppl's life..
dun have my own path in life anymore..
i dunno if i've grown to become a hypocrite..
after saying so much..
shld i be punished..
i've been trying to see the way ppl look at me..
some have really changed..
i dunno.. mayb i'm the one dat changed?
but change is more or less unavoidable..
i dunno izt cux i've been hearing too much..
someday u will hear ur frenx tok bad bout..
the closer ones to u..
den wun u tink bout..
wad if one day u're not wid them..
will they do the same to ya?
i believe not.. but if it happens to so many..
so y not me as well?
trust is something not to be dealt with easily..
it takes only a minute to break one's trust..
while it might take yrs to get it back..
to me.. i trust ppl around me..
at least try my best to do so la..
mayb they'll play a few tricks..
ahh.. dat's fine as well..
but trusting someone is the ability..
to open up ur heart n confide in dat person..
its not easy..
especially if u had keep everything to urself..
for like all the time..
it'll be harder to speak then..
i once blogged bout the broken fence story..
yuppx.. the one bout nails and holes..
dunno too bad..
but ya i still believe dat once hurt..
it'll always leave a scar..
whether visible or not..
we look right into each others' eyes..
i noe we're juz frenx..
but somehow i wun forget the good times..
it's gonna be 100days soon..
mayb i SHLD go celebrate..
lolx. juz kidding..
numerous times u walked past me..
i noe i'll looking for ya..
but i wun say anything..
but i saw at dat moment..
ur eyes dat looked directly at me again..
u wanted to go back..
dat's how i feel.. but i noe its jux me..
mayb u're looking at something else..
i noe i very anticlimax..
but i reali consoling myself alright?
but ur eyes looked kinda sad to me..
well.. guess.. i wouldn't wanna look back anymore..
suddenly, things i lost..
kinda comes back to me..
it must be the moon.. =))
sori i still believe in stars..
yupps.. some stuff coming back..
sometimes i reali dunno..
if i shld accept my past memories..
mayb i used to hope for this..
but now i reali tink..
i dun nid anything now..
all i wan is my frenx making peace..
having fun like we always do..
its not bout going back to the way we used to..
but this time..
a beginning where we have attain beta understanding..
guess frenships reali do mean alot to me..
but i noe la..
dat i have little power to change anything..
well.. i oni hope i've been a good fren..
~trust takes time~
Innocence
11:05 PM
