Saturday, July 01, 2006

izt the end? haix.
after hearing wad lwin's mum said bout my fate.
i reali tink i shld stop talking.
juz shuddup and keep quiet and b a loner.
but dat's not me anymore.
oh well. at least i'm training myself to shuddup.
hope i can acomplish it by 17th.

after exams on wed.
shin, jac, wenxi n me went sakae.
'The Talk' juz kept coming back to me.
i noe it. i was afraid of talkin bout stuff within.
haix. very useless.
oh well. stil i joined in their laughter like wad we used to be.
wad we used to have. that happiness.
during the 2 hour break on tues after chem paper.
couldn't help myself.
i hugged all 3 of them.
i'm afraid of losing them again.
i've lost too much.
if i shuddup, nth bad wil happen.
frenz. are impt to me.
they all are.
but still. i cant force myself to side anyone.
we were sitting in sakae after finishing our food.
shin n me went toilet.
told shin dat tmr is andrew's bday.
told her dun say in front of jac n wenxi.
i noe things they wil say things dat i wun agree.
yet we went back n she said it.
so i had to hear 3 of them telling me bout how bad andrew is and all.
i cant say anything. so i didn't.

there's nth i can do.
nth at all i can do to save these friendships.
how much more?
how long more do i need?
i wan everything back.
juz like before. like old times.
yet nvr again...

ytd went to swee lee.
wid isaac, medison, andrew n evan.
was damn crowded.
juz pei them queue.
somehow, it felt great when he smsed me.
it felt like it has gone back to old times.
mayb i'm wrong but i guess wj did say something.
haha. wad a joke.
i was bloody running from bugis to bras basah mac.
lol. it did. some part of old times came back.
stil happy bout it. though things did change.
all i wan is everything to stay now.

as long as u all stil tok to me.
as long as i stil exist in all of u.
i'm glad i'm still happy bout it.

16 more days.
wad wil happen?
will i be able to shut my mouth?
wil i be able to stil keep my secrets to myself?
wil i stil be in this sch?
mid yr is crap.
panicking upon facing my last paper.
too late? haix.

i'm watching anime now.
as usual. juz staying at home is fine.
as long as i dun tok everything is fine.
i might bring peace to the ppl round me if i'm a mute.
heex.

~guess everything stil change~

Innocence
4:53 PM

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* QiQi *
17th July 1989

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♫ Innocence ♫

Innocence stolen without my permission
Innocence gone without my submission

Innocence lost through another’s plan
Innocence no longer for another man

Innocence turned to hatred and fear
Innocence gone, no man can come near

Innocence taken from a little girl’s heart
Innocence replaced by mistrust, you thought you were smart

Innocence disappears like dew in the sun
Innocence faded before it’s begun

Innocence obscured like a cloud over the moon
Innocence ripped away too soon