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Thursday, September 08, 2005

okay.. i'm no ha he ho le....

everything not my fault.. yet i'm the one suffering.. r u suffering too?? i doubt so.. i dunno.. cuz i'm not u.. i dunno wad u're thinking.. i dunno wad u want... i dunno wad i did.. can u at least pls explain?? u tell me u dunno the reason.. yet... aren't u being cruel to me.. u told me.. u said u were hurt before.. u told me u nvr wanna feel lidat anymore.. and u noe how it feels.. yet.. u juz say ur words and tell me dat u dun wanna hurt me.. when u already did... i nvr hurt u.. i tried my best to do things for u.. i noe the limit to things.. but i did nth.. i did practically nth... mayb i haven loved ya enuff.. mayb i already did.. i told myself juz the other day.. i said i noe its hard to climb out of a hole... tunnel of love?? a tunnel dat is vertical dat is.. i juz keep falling.. deeper n deeper.. i juz hope one dat i wud fall n fall into the earth's core and get burnt to death.. its so hard to survive.. everytime i lose some one.. i cry i wonder y.... after my 2nd.. i've always put in my best effort.. to love and to care.. i reali did.. cuz i noe i reali wan theirs... mayb leaving one is a blessing in disguise...?? juz hope so... but now.. i got no time to grieve and get sad all over again.. its been the millionth time i'm hurt.. mayb nxt time i'll be immune and be a cold blooded person.. argh.. izt the way i am dat irritates ppl?? my existence in dis world is unneccessary... aiya...

ok.. ytd had nightmares.. i finished my book 'the bar code tattoo' ytd afternoon.. i went to bed n poof! the ppl around me started scratching their tattoo.. its a barcode and its at the down side of the wrist...den they couldn't take it and plunge off the building.. one by one those who haf the tattoo... it might turn out to be a true story in future dat is.. but i hope it doesn't.. its scary... den there is dis show bout a bride dead in a chest in her attic in her wedding gown and found yrs later.. the image of the skeleton cannot get off my mind n i cant sleep wel...

anyway.. if all these goes on i'll nvr sleep well.. oh the world hates me...

bless me.. my english grades are getting more n more terrible.. i wil read more..

life is getting worse i tink.. aiya.. some ppl got their own hp le.. haha.. i might be the last one to know though.. wadever... but it seems dat someone's beloved has influenced a change in the someone i'm toking bout.. will.. bless him a million times..

biggest wish: happiness be blessed to everyone in the world..

like anyone care wad i wish.. wadever.. i'm going into a down mode again.. wonder how long it'll last.. mayb i can juz get from one lvl of depression into another.. its always lidat.. wad a sad day sad case..

to my dear readers.. pls do not worry dat i'll commit suicide or anything.. cuz i wun.. and dun worry bout me.. juz wave and say hi to me some day.. dat'll make me happy..

so now.. hu wanna volunteer to cheer me up?? i'm juz gonna break into more sobs.. its always sobx sobx.. i guess super muggers from our class dun suffer from dis??

BGR-boy gal relationship??
NO... BGR - break gal rox... is dat wad it means to guys?? i guess guys are guys.. all their thinking the same yet all girls are not able to find out..

frigging hell.. bless the world.. i hate my hair! its going crazy.. i dunno wad to do wif it.. i've been pulling it.. i wanna rebond la!! wadever the spelling.. diaoz..

~its not my fault yet i'm hurt more than u are.. i juz know..~

Innocence
6:35 AM


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* QiQi *
17th July 1989

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♫ Innocence ♫


Innocence stolen without my permission
Innocence gone without my submission

Innocence lost through another’s plan
Innocence no longer for another man

Innocence turned to hatred and fear
Innocence gone, no man can come near

Innocence taken from a little girl’s heart
Innocence replaced by mistrust, you thought you were smart

Innocence disappears like dew in the sun
Innocence faded before it’s begun

Innocence obscured like a cloud over the moon
Innocence ripped away too soon